MEET BABY JESUS

A few people have cracked up when they hear about Baby Jesus, so I thought I should share on the blog. Besides, he's inextricably woven into our family lore now.

I bought a baby doll just before Zach was born. My friend gave us a doll-sized car seat for him. The plan was that Jared would have a baby to bring home from the hospital when we brought home baby Zach.

I wanted a realistic doll, and for some reason, this one really appealed to me. Hmmm...I wonder why? There seems to be a resemblance to my babies....
At age 2, Jared wasn't too creative with names, and named his doll Baby Zach. As we were leaving the hospital, Ryan took Jared to bring the car around to the front doors. I sat in my mandatory wheelchair with Zach's car seat across the arms and stayed by the luggage cart with the doll on top. I thought nothing of it until people walking past started freaking out that I had my newborn perched on top of my suitcase! One lady clutched her heart as though I'd nearly given her a heart attack, then told me she'd thought that I had twins and couldn't hold both, so I'd put one on the suitcase.

The doll remained "Baby Zach" until that Christmas, when Jared renamed him Baby Jesus. He's enjoyed that moniker for the past 2 years. He's enjoyed very spotty devotion, sometimes being left in a box or a closet for months at time. But now he sleeps at the foot of Zach's bed, and must be tucked in with his miniature pillow and tiny blankie. He also gets burped and fed bottles at least once every two weeks (not adequate care, but remember, we have two boys).

And one day, he got to go to the park.

Zach decided that Baby Jesus just had to tag along on our weekly trip to Settler's Park. Zach pushed him in the full-sized umbrella stroller over to the swings, then insisted that Baby Jesus get pushed in the baby swing next to him. That's when things got strange. His floppy little legs actually started pumping the swing for him, making him swing quite high and look rather realistic. This delighted Zach, who started yelling, "Mommy, push Baby Jesus higher higher higher!" "Look, Baby Jesus swinging, like me!"
That's when I started feeling like everyone was staring at me, wondering what strange religious cult I has used to brainwash my children.

Baby Jesus is currently tucked in for a nap on the stairs. He gets awfully tired after his bi-monthly bottle and burp.

P.S. I had to look up whether bimonthly means twice a month or once every two months. Turns out it means both. What a screwed up language we speak!