Mine Fields

Tonight, during my nightly walk-through before going to bed, I had the thought that it's not so much tidying and locking up as it is a preventative measure.

That's because I find myself scanning the house for potential problems. I mentally put myself at the boys' level and spot all sorts of dangers.

• A loaf of bread: That'll get ripped open and half of it eaten, just because it was in plain view. Gotta lock it in the pantry. Speaking of which...
  
• Pantry door is open: The boys always wake up before I do, and go quietly downstairs to watch PBS Kids. That's fine with me, but after suffering heavy food losses, such as when the boys helped themselves to some cereal and accidentally dumped the entire box on the carpet, then drove their trucks through it....we put a baby lock on the pantry door.
• Teal crayon: I love having color on the walls, but I'd like to choose the color and placement, thank you!
  
• Art box: I try to encourage Jared's creativity, but if he sees his box of art supplies box first thing in morning, I will awake to mountains of hastily-drawn pictures of aliens, flowers, our house, the toilet, and especially unflattering depictions of my pregnant figure. And they'll likely be delivered directly to my sleeping face.
• Awesome remote-control front loader is in plain view: I know I will awake to screaming, crying, and the percussive sounds of the boys beating each other repeatedly, because they just cannot share the coolest toy ever. I literally have to set the kitchen timer for 3 minutes, then yell, "SWITCH!" or they will not relinquish possession of it. The front-loader disappears into a box on a high shelf frequently (wink wink.)
  

Of course, there are knives and hammers and other obvious dangers I have to neutralize, too. I think this deserves to be added to the official job description of MOM (you know, the one that says we would have to be paid $140K a year based on our duties? I wish I had a link to that...) What would it be called? Mine field detonator?